One Liners Jokes

Do you know how to catch a squirrel?

Climb a tree and act like a nut!

Mexican Funeral

Q: What's the slowest thing on 80 wheels?

A: A Mexican funeral with only two sets of jumper cables.

Teachers Jokes

Teacher: Now, you must not say, “I ain’t goin’.” You should say, “I am not going, he is not going; we are not going; they are not going.”

Student: Wow! Ain’t nobody goin’ then?

Entertainment Jokes

A woman rushes into a hardware store and said, “Can I have a muse trap, please? And will you be quick – I’ve a bus to catch.”

“Sorry, ma’am,” said the assistant, “we don’t sell ‘em that big!”

Ass Kissing and Brown Nosing

Q: What's the only difference between ass kissing and brown nosing?

A: Depth perception.

Frosty the Snowman's Pants

Q: Why did Frosty the Snowman pull his pants down?

A: He heard the snowblower coming.

Entertainment Jokes

Banta's son: Dad there is some one on the door to collect donations for a swimming pool.

Banta: Give him a glass of water.

There's No People Like Snow People

How can you tell the difference between a snowman and a snow woman?

Snow balls

Blonde Smoker

Q: How did the blonde put out her cigarette?

A: She threw it in the water and stepped on it.

Q: What do you call a dog with no hind legs and metal balls?

A: Sparky!

Question / Answer Jokes

Q: What did the traffic light say to the car?

A: Don't look I'm changing!

That's Really Hot

Which is faster, hot or cold?

Hot -- because you can catch a cold!

Funny Apple

Q: What did the apple say to the orange?

A: I despise you for being different from me.

Blonde Girlfriend

Q: What's the advantage of having a blonde as a girlfriend?

A: You get to park in handicapped zones.

Musicians and Lightbulbs

Q: How many musicians does it take to screw in a lightbulb?

A: One, two, one, two, three, four!

Victoria's Five-Legged Secret

Did you hear about the woman who has five legs?

Her panties fit her like a glove!

Teachers Jokes

Teacher: Why do we sometimes call the Middle Ages the Dark Ages?

Peter: Because they had so many knights.

Blonde Loses Sweet Job

Why did the blonde get fired from her job at the M&M factory?
She threw away all the "W&W's"